I like to think of myself as a patient person, someone who sees the bigger picture and embraces grace in all things. But let’s be honest—there are some things that get under my skin, and sometimes, I just need to vent. If I had to pinpoint what I complain about the most, I’d say it boils down to a few key themes: people who refuse to evolve, unnecessary bureaucracy, and the ways the world still clings to outdated ideas that hurt people like me.
First and foremost, I get frustrated with people who resist growth. I’ve spent my life evolving—spiritually, intellectually, and now, even in terms of gender identity. I’ve come to understand that life is about transformation, about being open to the work of the Spirit and the lessons that unfold as we move forward. But not everyone shares that perspective. Too often, I encounter people who hold onto their biases, who refuse to expand their worldview, and who act as if learning something new threatens their very existence. Whether it’s theological rigidity, social conservatism, or just plain stubbornness, I find myself sighing (sometimes loudly) at people who act like the world should always be the way it was decades ago. Growth is a gift, and I wish more people would embrace it instead of fighting it tooth and nail.
Then, there’s bureaucracy. Oh, how I loathe bureaucracy. Whether it’s church governance, city permits, or denominational red tape, nothing drains my energy more than needless paperwork and endless meetings where nothing actually gets done. I understand the need for structure—after all, I’m Presbyterian, and we’re known for our love of decency and order. But when systems become more about maintaining power and less about serving people, I start to lose my patience. It’s frustrating when good ideas get bogged down in procedural nonsense, especially when real change is needed. I complain about this a lot because I want to see institutions, especially the church, move with more agility and less fear. I believe in doing things right, but I also believe in doing things now.
Of course, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t complain about the ways the world still marginalizes people like me. As a genderqueer person in ministry, I live at the intersection of faith and identity, which means I regularly face both subtle and blatant forms of discrimination. Whether it’s the assumptions people make about me, the microaggressions I endure, or the institutional barriers that still exist, there are plenty of days when I just need to let out a long, exhausted groan. I know change is happening, but sometimes, it feels painfully slow. And honestly? It’s tiring having to explain myself over and over again to people who refuse to listen the first time.
Despite all this, I try not to let my complaints consume me. I know that frustration, when channeled correctly, can lead to action. And if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I’m not afraid to push for change. But some days, I just need to vent.
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